I don't know
But a lot of things
Always a lot of things
I think I should take a hiatus
Focus on actual priorities
I need to get my shit together
Because it's not fair to you
CYVOL: JENNE: SIT IN CHAIR.You sit backwards on the chair for a while, but that got to be too much and you went back to laying down. You feel tired and overwhelmed and the intense contractions, and start to moan along with them.CYVOL: JENNE: SIT IN CHAIR. by Multicoloredspirit
You end up humming along with music, sitting upright in bed and handling each pain as it comes. You soon feel a movement and a downwards pressure that seems to open up something near your bottom. Another contraction with this makes you realize that you're starting to push.
CYVOL: JENNE: PLAY SOME MUSIC.You want to get on top of these pains before doing anything, and put on some relaxing music while you leaned on the bed, swaying your hips back and forth like you were dancing.CYVOL: JENNE: PLAY SOME MUSIC. by Multicoloredspirit
After a while you start getting tired, and contractions are only getting worse, sapping your energy with each one. Deciding you need to try something else, you:
CYVOL: JENNE: TRY THE TUB.You decide that resting in the tub would feel better, and are soon glad that you made that decision.CYVOL: JENNE: TRY THE TUB. by Multicoloredspirit
The water feels great on your sore muscles and you welcome the comfort, zoning off for the better part of an hour as contractions take over. The midwife reminds you that it's best to keep changing positions to help the baby get in place and though you don't want to, you comply.
After twenty more minutes of switching between pacing and resting in the tub, you start to feel a strong pressure accompanying each contraction. You're starting to push!
You decide to go back into the tub to push. It takes a few in order to find the most comfortable position, but once you do, all bets are off. Even with the intensity of each pushing, aching, burning, stretching sensation, it's only an hour of pushing before you're holding GRACIE, your new baby girl.
CYVOL: JENNE: TRY THE BALL.You decide that leaning on the yoga ball might help your back pain.CYVOL: JENNE: TRY THE BALL. by Multicoloredspirit
However, no matter what you try, it's impossible to get comfortable. You're hot and everything is agitating you. The contractions are driving you up a wall and you start to cry in frustration. The midwife comforts you without touching you and lets you cry out the next two or three.
After the third, she helps you up to walk you around. The pain seems greater when you're standing, but it only takes two contractions before you suddenly feel a very strong urge to push.
You hardly think about anything before going over to the squat bar. You're able to stay squatting for the first few pushes, driven by the intensity and burning. The midwife brings over a stool for a little extra support, and that's good, because soon there's hardly any time to rest.
After 45 minutes of pushing, you've done it. With glee, you're able to hold ALANA, your baby girl.
I Tear My Skin AwayI Tear My Skin AwayI Tear My Skin Away by WordOfChen
I tear this skin from my body,
Even if the world screams,
That I am only an illusion.
I tear the bones from my legs,
Through pain, I will grow,
Through suffering, I will become.
I rip the muscles from my arms,
These teeth from my jaws...
And with nothing upon me,
I carry on...
Like a broken puppet, still shivering,
Still forcing its way through the darkness;
I tremble for I am nothing...
And yet, I am moving. My voice still screams...
I draw breath into these tired lungs,
As I rip the flesh away...
And I shatter these mirrors before me,
With a voice that will not break:
Because the world cannot label me as nothing,
And I will live for my own sake!
"So tell me, is that all the pain you've got for me?"